Realization
by mentalagent13
Summary: Jane's thoughts on a normal day. Very much a lighter side to Jane and Lisbon. It doesn't really fit well into a category, it's just plain happy. One-shot.


**A/N:** Pure inspiration happened today! I just have to write something slightly happy (no worries _Pain_ will be completed), potential spoilers for season 5. This is told from Jane's point of view. It's his thoughts on a normal day.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing pertaining to The Mentalist.

**Realization **

He is sitting on his couch completing the most recent crossword in the newspaper. Today's is a little more difficult than usual, but it's nothing he can't handle. The people that come up with these must not have as much creativity as he does; then again, no one has as much creativity as he does. He has every word except one. He glances around the bullpen curious to see if anyone will notice his accomplishment. No matter, he will finish it just like every other day.

He puts the newspaper down and takes a good look around the bullpen, Cho and Van Pelt are busy at their computers working on logging cold cases or something else equally as boring. Rigsby is supposed to be completing the same task, but he is too busy throwing balls of paper into the trashcan beside Van Pelt's desk. That's no surprise. Rigsby has been doing that more and more. It's a signal between them that only they know the importance of. Granted he knows what the significance is, but he'll let them have their fun. It's good to see them just enjoying each other.

His couch sighs softly as he shifts to lie down on it. There's no need to watch the bullpen today. Lisbon hasn't come in yet. She took a half day this morning for mysterious reasons. It took him a few minutes (most of those minutes focused on breaking into her office without anyone noticing) to figure out she had a routine doctor's appointment before work this morning. Depending on the wait at the office and traffic she may not be in the most pleasant mood when she gets to the office. The idea of potentially having the opportunity to cheer her up lifts his spirits slightly. It has been far too quiet without her hear.

He stares at the ceiling contemplating the tiles above his head. He counts a few, and then makes up an elaborate story about the different stains on them. It doesn't take long for him to become almost completely and utterly bored. He needs something to keep his mind busy or it drifts into places that he doesn't want to visit. There are dark corners that he may never make it out of if he allows himself to just lie and let his mind wander.

Even Patrick Jane isn't perfect, though. He finds himself allowing his mind to wander. The curious thing is that it doesn't go where he expects it to. The dark corners remain tucked away in the shadows undisturbed. He mentally catalogues his memory palace for the third time, but after the first he can't seem to stop his mind from meandering down the path to the unknown. Turns out his mind knew exactly where it wanted to go. He catches himself planning the best way to cheer her up when she gets back. He doesn't even know if she is in a bad mood yet! He scoffs and shakes his head. He needs a cup of tea.

Tea made he heads back to his couch and sits down. Van Pelt asks anyone who is listening when they think Lisbon will be back. He perks up, maybe someone knows something. He would like to sit in her office for awhile for a change of scenery. Cho answers, but it isn't the answer anyone is looking for. Jane shrugs and takes another sip of his tea. She will get here when she gets here. There is nothing he can do to make her get here faster. He debates calling her to bug her. It's something he would normally do, but it seems unnecessary today.

Tea finished, he gets up to rinse out the cup and saucer. The break room is empty so he hums a bit as he works. Her soft chuckle breaks into his thoughts mere seconds after he turns the water off to the sink. He allows himself a small grin, and then steels his features for the encounter to come. He purposefully ignores the slight lifting of his general mood at the sound of her laugh.

"If you enjoy doing dishes so much, you can do mine too," she quips. He grin is beautiful. It changes slightly as she detects the tiny difference in his demeanor. He eyes betray a worry he wasn't expecting.

"Just cleaning up after myself, Lisbon,"

"That would be a first," she mutters. He decided not to respond. They are obviously talking about two very different things. He prides himself in his ability to clean up items, crime scenes are her responsibility. Plus, he gives her the killer that she is looking for; that's more than enough payment for all of the complaints she receives about him.

The chat amicably in between her greeting the members of the team and being brought up to speed on all of the open cases they have currently. She reaches to take a box of cold cases to start putting them into the computer, but he reaches them first. She is holding a cup of coffee and juggling coffee and a box full of files could turn into disaster. Her eyebrows furrow at his offer. He smiles to ease her suspicions and shrugs. She leads the way to her office and he is more than happy to follow her there.

Once inside he places the box of files on her desk and sits down on the couch in her office. It's not quite as comfortable as his. The company more than makes up for it though. She gives him an eye roll before digging into the first cold case. He is content to sit in her presence for the time being. It's within these comfortable moments that the realization finally hits him…he is more than content in her presence; in fact, being around her feels more and more like home. The thought staggers him. He hasn't felt at home for years. He begins to panic internally and somehow she catches onto his change in mood, even though he knows he hasn't changed his outward appearance. He's spent too many years perfecting the persona of being in control.

"Jane, are you ok?" the worry in her voice isn't lost on him. After all, she's only been at work for twenty minutes.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he assures her.

"Ok," she says halfheartedly and glances up from her computer more often. He gives her a real smile to settle her nerves down. Eventually she becomes engrossed in her work once again. He reassesses his feelings and the panic starts to set in again, but this time he is prepared for it. He combats it with slow deep breaths that she doesn't notice. There is no need to alert her to his internal struggle. Finally after an hour he begins to chuckle out loud. The steady clicking of her keys pause when she looks up at him. He must sound like a lunatic because she leaves her desk to come stand next to him.

"Are you sure you're alright, Jane?" the concern in her voice is unnecessary. He only needs to find his voice to let her know that he is more than alright. It's just that at the moment he cannot seem to stem the hope flooding through his entire being. Maybe he does have the opportunity to do something else with his life.

He settles down and motions for her to sit beside him. She obliges with a question in her eyes. He shakes his head and takes a deep breath. The small smile he gives her eases her fears substantially. He finds that he gives her more and more genuine smiles lately; each one more meaningful than the last.

"I'm home, Teresa," he whispers to her. He will always remember the look of joy on her face once the full meaning of his words penetrates through her mind. The hug afterwards is icing on the cake.

**A/N:** Please let me know what you think. This was a spur of the moment story!


End file.
